One backpack, twelve months, and fifteen countries later, I am happy to say we are still in a healthy relationship. In January of 2019, George and I sold our belongings, quit our corporate jobs, and moved out of our apartment. We said goodbye to the familiar and hello to a life of uncertainty.
They say that travel brings out one’s true identity. When you are stripped of the familiar and placed in stressful situations, your most authentic self is revealed. Travelling as a couple is the ultimate test of a relationship. The experiences you face together can either make your bond stronger or highlight significant differences. Nevertheless, we were up for the challenge.
During our travels, we spent every second of every day together. During that time, we got to know each other very well, almost too well.
Below are the lessons I learned from backpacking with George for an entire year.
Be Respectful Of Each Others Weaknesses
We can’t all be good at everything, and there will definitely be areas in which we fall short. For example, I am terrible with directions. Maps confuse me and I ended up getting us lost a number of times. Nevertheless, not once did George ever bring me down. Instead, he kindly offered to take over directing duties and we both came to the conclusion that it was probably best he guided our way.
That being said, weaknesses don’t always have to come in the form of abilities. They can also be correlated with our fears. George does not like heights, therefore, when we were cliff jumping in the Philippines, I didn’t pressure him to join in if it made him uncomfortable.
Trust me, there will be plenty of situations where you and your partner are uncomfortable. The key is being respectful of each other’s limits and not forcing them to do something that makes them uneasy.
Lessons Learned Traveling As A Couple
Compromise
Travel styles are different across the board. Some people are adrenaline junkies and live for adventure travel. Others may prefer to spend the entire day relaxing poolside with a cocktail in their hand. When you travel with your partner, you are in luck in your travel styles align.
That being said, it is very likely that there will be activities they are interested in doing that may not appeal to you. This is where compromise is key. At the end of the day, you want your trip to be memorable for both of you. Make sure you carve out days that are solely dedicated to what your significant other wants, or mix them up with activities you enjoy as well.
When we were in Kyoto, we spent an entire afternoon at the Manga Museum. Personally, I have zero interest in manga or comic books, but I know it is something that George truly enjoys. Therefore, I compromised by visiting the museum for the day and letting him nerd out for hours. We read manga together in the outdoor courtyard and it was really enjoyable to see him so happy. After our visit, I got to pick where we ate lunch. Compromise ruled the day and left it as a success, not an argument.
Lessons Learned Traveling As A Couple
Remember You Are a Team
Any selfish tendencies must go out the door once you hit the road. It is imperative to think of your partner as your teammate. You are in this together and therefore it will take you both of you to succeed.
You are no longer eating for one, so make sure you always order enough food for you both. When you go out to get a snack, make sure you pick something up to surprise your partner.
If one of you isn’t feeling well, it is time to play doctor. Make sure you are attentive to their needs and get them the proper medicine.
Before you check out, make sure you run through the list of both of your belongings. Think about them just as much as yourself. There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team’ and no ‘I’ in ‘Travel,’ remember that.
Don’t Place Blame
Someone will misplace the bike key, book the wrong flight, or forget their money at the table. Mishaps happen all the time and especially when you are travelling.
Instead of pointing the finger, and making your partner feel ashamed, just embrace it together. Blaming each other for things you can’t change only creates unnecessary tension. At the end of the day, you just have to learn to roll with the punches and let things go.
During our travels, we tried to take these misfortunes as lessons. Ultimately, they added to the adventure and were great stories to tell when we got home.
Lessons Learned Traveling As A Couple
Find Alone Time
When you are travelling non-stop together it can be hard to carve out individual time for yourself. Nevertheless, it is so important you try if you want to have a happy trip.
It is natural and healthy to have your own space. Take time apart to clear your mind and self-reflect.
We usually carved out our alone time in the mornings. I would sometimes take my book and read outside, or go on a walk with my coffee. George would really enjoy exploring new cafes on his own and would go out and bring back breakfast for us to enjoy together. Those little moments of alone time really can help and make for a healthy balance.
Don’t Forget The Romance
Backpacking for this long ultimately becomes one giant date. It is easy to forget the romance involved in a relationship when every day is utter chaos. You and your partner are constantly exploring, or on the move to for the next adventure.
Make sure to find time to keep the sparks of your relationship alive. For us, we made the conscious effort to plan one romantic date night in each new city we visited.
For example, in Bangkok, we got dressed up and went to one of the tallest sky bars in the city. We enjoyed appetizers and cocktails, whilst watching the sunset on the horizon. In Sri Lanka, we set up a picnic with local food and spent our day on the beach relaxing and enjoying some beers.
Taking a moment for some romance is really important to do when you are travelling with your partner for a long period of time.
Ultimately, travelling with your partner is a great test of your relationship. You will learn so much about your significant other and hopefully more about yourself as well. Travelling as a couple is extremely rewarding and something you try if you get the chance.
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